My poor, neglected blog!
I’ve been missing in action due to a swarm of house guests. Some were invited, others weren’t. Some stayed a short time while others lingered on until I began daydreaming about ways to bodily remove them from my island paradise.
I think there’s something about owning a four bedroom home on an island seven miles off the coast of Maine that attracts those looking for a “cheap” vacation. Cheap for them perhaps, not cheap for the hostess.
I think most of my visitors, family and friends alike, are considerate and helpful while others (namely those who chose to stay for weeks on end) were less than considerate and way less than helpful.
At long last, the house is close to empty, the steam has ceased pouring out my ears, and I can think clearly once again!
In the name of all that’s holy or otherwise, I’ve compiled a list of considerations… just in case you’re someone’s house guest in the future.
1. Wait for an invite. While this may seem obvious to most, it never ceases to amaze and irritate me when people arrive uninvited and unexpected. Yes, I have four bedrooms but perhaps those bedrooms are filled with invited guests.
2. Get off your butt. Okay, so you’ve been invited or perhaps you descended like a swarm of locusts. It’s not your hostess’s job to cook, clean up after you, pick up your soggy towels, or replace numerous spent rolls of toilet paper. Help your hostess; she needs it!
3. Restrict your visit to a few days, a week at most. Hey, even I can tolerate the uninvited when the house is already full. For a few days. House guests, like fish, begin to stink after three days. And for heaven’s sake, let your hostess know how long you will be staying.
I tried to sound light hearted when I asked an uninvited relative, “So, how long do you think you’ll be in Eastport?”
“Oh, I haven’t decided yet. Three or four days.”
She stayed for two weeks. Just how many times does your hostess need to ask before getting a definitive answer? Once and only once, please.
4. Be considerate. Considerate of water, food, electricity, your hostess’s patience….at times I’ve had as many as 11 visitors staying in my home. Contribute some food, offer to cook, whatever!
Remember your hostess will be paying the bill for your vacation for months after you’ve gone home. Water is extremely expensive here on the island and filling an extra capacity washing machine with three extra rinses for your shirt and a pair of socks is not only crazy, it’s downright rude and wasteful.
Keep in mind your hostess may have to attend an unexpected event. True story: I had to attend a funeral the other day and was made to feel guilty (yes, guilty!) for attending. Guilt aside, I attended.
5. Thank your hostess. Especially if your arrival was unexpected. ‘Nuf said.
As an afterthought to this list: consider presenting your hostess with a bottle of wine; after the guests have departed and the dust has settled, she just may need it.